3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
