Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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