is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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