Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My bed smells like the plague
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize