This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
