sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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