If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
