You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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