She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
