So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
