why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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