She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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