entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
