It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
