Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
