and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
