so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
