Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
