Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize
