the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize