I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
