so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
