Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
