was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
