whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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