It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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