it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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