Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
