That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize