the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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