I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
