Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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