this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
