so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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