is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
