I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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