weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We left an ass print on the piano.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
