Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just invented taco cereal.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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