We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
