HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
