did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Bring me that man meat
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
