i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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