It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize