Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
