She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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