As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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