Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
