tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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