Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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