she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Randomize