I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
