I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
