Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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