There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
