It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
